Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Grey's Anatomy recap: Sensitivity training


In the spirit of Grey's Anatomy DVD boxset's training session, herewith the lessons in ''extra sensitivity'' we learned from tonight's Grey's Anatomy DVD:

1. If you're going to inform your current lover about your wife sending you divorce papers, don't do it by telling your Grey's Anatomy DVD boxset's sister, who's also a fellow doctor, within earshot of your lover. While waiting for an ambulance to roll up with a patient.

Then again, Alex hasn't always been known for his sensitivity. Nonetheless, Lexie was a bit flustered by the news that Izzie and Alex were officially Grey's Anatomy seasons 1-5 DVD boxset, despite her repeated insistence that she's totally fine with this whole friends-with-benefits situation (and despite the extensive coverage of Katherine Heigl's departure). Alex insisted to Meredith that Grey's Anatomy DVD was totally cool, and Lexie didn't have feelings for him, and he didn't have feelings for her, and nobody had any feelings ever.

But, of course, that grand kiss in the middle of the hospital upon signing his divorce papers said otherwise. Grey's Anatomy DVD set again, who can trust a kiss that comes less than a second after a guy signs divorce papers?

2. Do not make fat jokes when a nearly-700-pound man arrives for treatment. Or, on second thought, do.

A very large Grey's Anatomy DVD boxset named Bobby showed up complaining of stomach pains — and cracking jokes left and right at his own expense, even though Cristina and Jackson got kicked off for making their own quips. Example: ''She likes to make mountains out of molehills, and I'm already a mountain.'' Grey's Anatomy seasons 1-5 DVD boxset did little to make us less grossed out when they gave us a tough-to-take shot of the real problem — he had developed a crazy-bad skin infection underneath his belly, in a place he couldn't even see.

Worse, Bobby hadn't walked in a year, but insisted on doing it when he needed to transfer onto a different gurney. This went well for about five seconds, during which he said to Grey's Anatomy DVD, ''You know what this reminds me of? Our wedding.'' Then he fell and broke his ankle. The doctors couldn't figure out how to get him a CT, because of his size. ''What about the Grey's Anatomy DVD boxset?'' random Mercy Wester Charles suggested. ''They've got to have a CT for, like, rhinos, right?'' The sensitivity of this comment was debated, but soon we were distracted by something else: the news from his wife that she was pregnant. ''Grey's Anatomy DVD set'' Lexie gasped. She handed over her clipboard and dismissed herself from the case without another word from Bailey.

It turned out Bobby had a severe deep tissue infection that would require the doctors ''clear out the infected fat.'' Thus this became the official Super High Risk Surgery of the Grey's Anatomy DVD. ''Almost too high to calculate.'' ''Five times the risk of heart attack.'' ''Slow healing, renal failure.'' ''High risk of pulmonary embolism.'' ''Post-op infection.'' Derek, who was about to be deposed in a lawsuit accusing him of pulling the plug on a patient recklessly, was having none of Grey's Anatomy DVD boxset. ''I'm saying we send him to a bariatric center that's prepared for a patient like this,'' he snapped, ''instead of us spending our time and resources caring for someone who obviously does not care for himself.'' But the ex-Chief turned him around, talking him into not seeing every patient as a prospective lawsuit. Yay, ex-Chief.

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